My previous post about Emotions in Coaching generated many comments and a lot of divergent, passionate views. And I promised to post highlights of the IOC-sponsored webinar on Emotions in Coaching by Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, a leading researcher in Emotional Intelligence and a practicing coach.
Without comment, here are the high points:
The coach’s emotions are critical to helping clients move forward and enrich sessions. If what you hear makes you sad or happy or angry, let the client know. Often it will help them see things in ways they hadn’t
• The distinction between therapy and coaching, while real, has paralyzed many coaches from developing Emotional Intelligence in their work
• The idea of “deep listening” is not really about repeating what the client said (“ I think I heard you say,”), but about, “Oh, what you just said made me sad…” Be human. Put yourself back into coaching
• So-called “negative or positive” emotions really are negative or positive in the sense that a battery has a “Positive and “Negative” terminal. How an emotion functions can determine if it’s “positive/expanding” or “negative/contracting.”
• Positive Psychology makes a mistake when it doesn’t respect and see the value in “negative” emotions”
Anger, for example, helps protect what one values and can correct unjust situations.
Guilt is great because it tells says a situation needs correcting, or an apology is required
• Emotions are our thermometers. They take the temperature of what’s going join around us and in us. They have valuable roles to play in coaching
There was more of course, but these are my “take aways.”